🎪 Fantasy Fuel Fridays with President Trump
“Gas is $1.99!”
—President Trump, live from the alternate reality station
Picture this: you pull up to a glistening gas station where unicorns pump sunshine into your tank, the pump blinks $1.99, and a bald eagle slow-claps in the distance. It’s patriotic. It’s magical. And it’s fiction.
Welcome to the Trump Presidential Discount Fantasy Pump™—where gas is $1.99, unicorns are real, and economic facts are optional.
⛽ Meanwhile, Back in the Real World…
On the date of President Trump’s statement, here’s what Americans were actually paying:
| State | Trump’s Claim | Real Pump Price |
|---|---|---|
| Mississippi | $1.98–$1.99 | $2.71 |
| Louisiana | $1.98–$1.99 | $2.79 |
| Texas | $1.98–$1.99 | $2.82 |
| Alabama | $1.98–$1.99 | $2.83 |
| Arkansas | $1.98–$1.99 | $2.85 |
| National Avg. | $1.98–$1.99 | $3.18 |
Source: AAA, GasBuddy, PolitiFact, CNN
Not a single state broke below $2, not even close.
🛢️ RBOB: Real Bull or Blown-Out Benchmark?
The likely culprit behind the claim is RBOB—Reformulated Blendstock for Oxygenate Blending—a wholesale fuel price used before taxes, ethanol blending, distribution, or station markups. It’s the price refiners see, not drivers.
RBOB excludes:
- 🏭 Refining and distribution
- 🏛️ State and federal gas taxes
- 🛒 Retailer overhead
So unless you’re fueling up in the speculative futures market, quoting RBOB is like saying rent is cheap because lumber prices dropped.
📊 RBOB vs. Reality: What the Numbers Say
| Month | RBOB Price (Wholesale) | U.S. Retail Pump Price |
|---|---|---|
| Jan 2025 | $1.98 | $3.24 |
| Feb 2025 | $2.02 | $3.26 |
| Mar 2025 | $2.10 | $3.33 |
| Apr 2025 | $2.22 | $3.46 |
| May 2025 | $2.35 | $3.59 |
| Jun 2025 | $2.43 | $3.68 |
Source: U.S. EIA, AAA Fuel Gauge Report
The gap between political fantasy and pump reality? About a buck a gallon.
🎤 The Real Cost of Fiction
This isn’t about a rounding error—it’s a rhetorical tool. Declare a cheaper, alternate reality. Hope no one double-checks. Applause first, accountability later.
But working families don’t live on applause lines. They live in reality. And when that reality gets warped at the podium, trust goes empty long before the tank does.
Bottom line: You can’t fill your tank with fantasy. And you sure can’t govern on gaslight.
Mentonym Express 